Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize