idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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