idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
