and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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