I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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