i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
