What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
