I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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