Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
