Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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