i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
