i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
