some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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