Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
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I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
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my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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