Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
