Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
