So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
