I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
vagina is talking i cant
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
