@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
