that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
please come you make the beer taste better
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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