I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
