It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
