Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
