Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
