You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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