Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
