she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
