THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
