Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
