And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
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Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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