I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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