hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
