when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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