I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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