Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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