no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Randomize
