ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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