the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
