so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
