Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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