yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Let's get the cat blown out
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
