took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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