i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
