Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
