Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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