Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
