Michael Bay diarrhea
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
