with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
