im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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