I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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