Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think I am morally bankrupt
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
its liver damage thursday
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
