he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
no more duck duck goose at the bar
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
