so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
