"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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