why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
