...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
