Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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