If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
