it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
