You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize