is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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