There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
