Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
