I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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